The subtitle for this books is "Discovering the power of the Gospel for marriage." This is a book to read only with an open heart. The author gets to the nitty-gritty of life as a Christian Believer, specifically related to home life. Even though i am not (yet ;) married, i found very helpful truths in the way i relate to those i am close with. Because the truth of the matter is this: we are all sinners and we all need to display grace and mercy and love in the relationships in our life, whether a parent, sibling, best friend, boyfriend, fiance, or husband or wife. The foremost point throughout the book--that stood out to me, at least--was a quote that Dave used from an old Puritan preacher, "Till sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet." I must first recognize my own sinfulness and need of a Savior before i can relate rightly to a fellow sinner. When i see my sin as the evil it is, and it become bitter to me, then Christ's saving grace and every day mercies will become sweet to my heart and overflow into a life of grace and mercy toward my fellow man.
Now, for some excerpts. (from the Preface) "Let me help you with something that has helped me. To say 'I am a sinner' is to stare boldly at a fundamental reality that many people don't even want to glance at. But when we acknowledge that painful reality in our lives, several great things become clear. We find ourselves in good company--the heroes of our faith, from Old Testament times to the present, who experienced the battle with sin on the front lines. We also acknowledge what everybody around us already knows--particularly our spouses. But, by far the greatest benefit of acknowledging our own sinfulnes is that it makes Christ and His work precious to us. Like Jesus said, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick...'(Luke 5) Only sinners need a Savior...Marriage is the union of two people who arrive toting the luggage of life. And that luggage always contains sin."
From a chapter on putting theology into practice. "It's not wrong to desire appropriate things like respect or affection from our spouses. But it is very tempting to justify demands by thinking of them as needs and then to punish one another if those needs are not satisfied. A needs-based marriage does not testify to God's glory; it is focused on personal demands competing for supremacy. Two people, preoccupied with manipulating each other to meet needs, can drive their marriage down the path to 'irreconcilable differences.' This is cultural language that simply acknowledges that a marriage can no longer carry the weight of demands understood as needs."
From a chapter titled "Mercy Triumphs over Judgment." "Marriage is a place where two sinners become so connected that all the masks come off. It's not only that we sometimes put on our best faces in public, it's that when we're married we see each other in all kinds of situations, including some very difficult ones. All the wonderful diversity (in this case, a polite word for our personal quirks, weaknesses, and sin patterns) that was kept refined and subdued before the wedding tumbles out of the closet after the honeymoon. We begin to see each other as we really are--raw, uncensored, and in Technicolor. If our eyes are open, we discover wonderful things about our spouses that we never knew were there. We also discover more of the other person's weaknesses. It's no wonder that Martin Luther called marriage, 'the school of character.' Without mercy, differences become divisive, sometimes even 'irreconcilable.' But deep, profound differences are the reality of every marriage. It's not the presence of differences but the absence of mercy that makes them irreconcilable. How many sinners who say 'so long' would remain as lovers who said 'I do' if they understood the place of mercy in marriage?...Mercy doesn't change the need to speak truth. It transforms our motivation from a desire to win battles to a desire to represent Christ. It takes me out of the center and puts Christ in the center. This requires mercy."
Hopefully those are enough quotes to inspire you to read the whole book for yourself. It's one of those ones that you'll want to underline and go back and re-read from time to time.
~Published by Shepherd Press, 2007
